Looking Ahead...

We're hoping and praying that 2009 will be a better year than the last. We're certainly grateful for the abundant blessings of 2008; we are all healthy, we have a home & food (so much more than many people throughout the world) and we've enjoyed some wonderful moments together as a family. But we've also experienced some sadness and loss...

Last year began with us waiting for Asa.

Then, mid-year, our hearts broke as we mourned the suffering of two precious families. We were shocked and confused by the passing of our Senior Pastor & his son and, three months later, our Music Minister. We trust that they are in the loving embrace of our Heavenly Father, which eases some of the sorrow, but for their wives, children, parents and siblings - we ache.

The trip to Haiti in October (my fourth visit) brought about a ton of sadness and anguish over all the time we are missing with Asa Mackenley - and the desperation to just get him home has, at times, felt like physical pain. So the last few months have been awfully hard. The blog was a bit neglected and has mostly just been an outlet for process updates as opposed to revealing nitty-gritty reality of a family in the throes of Haitian adoption. Now, we're not walking around depressed all the time and we absolutely trust that God has a perfect plan. We do enjoy each and every moment together - but the sense that we are missing a family member is palpable. The three kids at home stay positive by envisioning what life will be like when Asa arrives and they pray for him every day. But I know it's disappointing for them when well-meaning people ask why their brother isn't home yet.

Christmas was, of course, bittersweet. We loved spending time with family, but we missed my brother, sister-in-law and nephew who are in the Netherlands. And we missed our youngest son.

Then the year ended with us... waiting for Asa.

So we're looking forward and embracing 2009 as the year that {we pray} will end with Asa in our home... and not just in our hearts.