This Is What Happens...

When Asa sees the camera:






Asa changed poses with each "click." You can tell, by Camden's unchanging expression, that this all took place within seconds. Asa hams it up without any prompting at all... what a goofball!


The both complied and smiled when daddy said "say cheese," though. :o)

Strangers...

We've been diligent about explaining to Asa that he should not start conversations with strangers and that mommy and daddy will let him know when someone is a "friend" to whom we can talk. It used to be that Asa would act overly familiar (cheeky, even) with strangers. It was usually uncomfortable, not just for us, but the individual that caught Asa's attention. He's really been receptive to our guidance in this area and has gotten so much better. But this is what happened a few weeks ago while we were shopping for Easter clothes. He was standing next to me and practicing some dance moves and crazy faces in a mirror by a rack of dresses:

Lady: Hi there! You sure are cute... how old are you?
Asa: (loudly) You're a stranger. I can't talk to strangers.
Lady: Awww. You are adorable. That's true - you should not talk to strangers, but I'm a nice grandma and I love children.
Asa: (loud & indignant) MOM, that STRANGER is still talkin' to me!!

I think he'll eventually learn a bit more about tact (and volume control) but I'm pretty sure there is no restraining our Asa's effervescent personality.

One Year: The Good, The Bad & The Funny...

This past year with our precious Asa has been filled with loads of joy and excitement, but also with some sadness and frustration. He's learned so much and has changed in many ways, but there are still reminders of the tiny little guy I met in Haiti two and a half years ago; he still has his super-kissable chubby cheeks and he still sucks on his lip when he's sleepy. We're so blessed that this sweet boy is part of our family. Here's a brief rundown of the past year...

The Good:

Asa is so smart. I am still amazed that he was born in a Third World country to a mother with no prenatal care, that he endured severe malnutrition and separation from his mama at 17 months, and that he lived in an orphanage for two years. It's a reasonable assumption that any combination of those factors would have caused some sort of developmental delay, but in terms of Asa's ability to retain information, comprehend concepts and express his thoughts, he just blows us away.

Asa is incredibly loving. He gives us unsolicited hugs, kisses and cuddles. He runs up to Jim and grabs his legs while saying, "You're the daddy! I love my daddy! You're BIG! Daddy is a good guy!" He has similar variations of that affirmation for everyone in the family (even Henry the Dog).

Asa went from the 5th percentile in height to the 50th in just nine months. That's seven inches!! Our pediatrician was amazed by his growth and his health.

He understands family relationships. He knows and explains who his parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts & uncles are - - even the ones who live across the ocean.

Asa seems to be attaching well. We were unapologetically rigid about the right kind of interaction with people outside of our family for quite some time. We were polite but firm about his need to be held, fed and comforted by us only and did our best to explain the reasons to people who were unfamiliar with adoption. We were still extremely social, so he was able to meet friends and family, but we tried to make sure he knew that they were not his parents. It was very clear from the beginning that Asa was "friendly" and could easily attach to anyone, so we know that this was the right decision; he's healing and growing because we are reinforcing the primary relationship he needs to have with us.

The Bad:

It's safe to say that Asa has had some serious control issues. He does not like to be corrected and will often do exactly what we tell him not to do. Some of this is willful, but some of his behaviors seem like compulsions over which he has little control. We are trying to decipher the two and respond accordingly. (Edit: I actually started writing this post on the anniversary of his homecoming a few weeks ago. Recently, though, he has been so incredibly cooperative most of the time - - maybe we've turned a corner?!?)

Asa does stuff at night when everyone else is asleep. "Stuff" is a loose term for: dumping fish food on the floor, painting with lotion, plunging the toilet, disassembling a remote, and making calls from my cell phone at 2:30 am. That's the short list. We're not sure if this is pent up curiosity or something more. (Another late edit: This is subsiding as well and his late-night escapades are now few and far between!)

Our (normally) sweet and laid back little guy goes bonkers in social settings. He just loses all self control when we are with groups of people - he starts yelling and doing cartwheels. He gets rough, loud, rude and does not respect boundaries. It can be very difficult and emotionally draining. Has anyone else experienced this? Please leave a comment if you have; I'd love to know how others deal with it.

**Please don't think that I'm implying that Asa is bad. What's bad is that my poor little boy has endured less than ideal situations that have injured his heart. These things are not good for him and I know that he probably feels more frustration than we do that his emotions/behaviors can seem out of his control. We want to give him the tools and help to learn self-control, respect and a healthy dependence on his mommy and daddy who love him.

The Funny:

Asa has more personality than any four year old I've ever met. His laugh is hysterical. He does crazy voices and has some wild dance moves. He break-dances to classical music. He taught himself how to do cartwheels (as mentioned above) so I think a tumbling class is in his future. When big sister, Ally, leaves the house, he reminds her to take her "I-Pawwwwd" (I-Pod). When Asa is getting hungry, he says "Mom, can you hear my tummy? It's time for lunch." We were walking through Ikea and some music came on. He said "You hear that? It sounds like the Jonas Brothers... but it's not. Because they don't live in Ikea." (We don't listen to Jonas Brothers music... he's maybe heard of them a handful of times on the Disney Channel.... he simply absorbs everything!!)

Three Years Ago...

This blog began.

Two years ago, we were stuck in IBESR with no end in sight.

One year ago, our file was being submitted into immigration and we were anticipating Asa's arrival!

C4C Earthquake Relief...

Wow! We were so blessed this week to be part of the Chances for Children family. Jim and I were able to see, firsthand, the awesome outpouring of generosity from C4C donors as we joined the team that helped to gather and pack food and supplies for the creche. Monday was spent shopping and hauling large quantities of supplies to the staging area at the Miami airport. On Tuesday, we organized and boxed everything (with the help of a sweet group of jr. highers from Orlando) so it would be ready to fly into the Dominican Republic. The plane left on Wednesday and we've been told that the trucks arrived at the creche in Haiti on Thursday where the supplies are already being put to use! Praise the LORD for its safe arrival!

This is just a portion of the items purchased from Costco.

Most of our group (Jim was taking the picture).

Jim at WalMart; we left with six very full carts and lots of strange looks from passers by.

Some of the supplies being delivered to the loading dock at the airport. The crew at International Bonded Couriers were a delight; so helpful and considerate!


Me with a portion of the 200+ HANDMADE cloth diapers that were lovingly sewn by my super-sweet friends from our Bible Fellowship class at church.

April with loads of medicine from another C4C adoptive family!

Jim, taking inventory for the plane's manifest.

This was only part of the load - there were also a bunch of pallets that contained rice, charcoal, food, bleach, etc....
7,300 pounds in all made it to the creche!

Mesi Anpil (thank you so much) to everyone who donated!

Sometimes I Wonder...

Why one million orphans wasn't a big enough number for people to notice before the earthquake. Even before this horrifying catastrophe, it was estimated that around one million children in Haiti were either orphaned or abandoned. It's encouraging to see the support and generosity pouring into Haiti but it breaks my heart that it took the tragic deaths of hundreds of thousands to bring attention to a country that was already poverty-stricken and desperate.

The adoption process in Haiti was averaging around two years, with some people waiting over three years to bring their children home. Many of the orphanages were always short on food. There was no rhyme or reason to the arbitrary laws that would come and go throughout the process. Adoptive families were waiting for the children (with whom they had visited and bonded) for an unnecessary amount of time and there were instances when children, who were legally adopted by Americans, were denied visas by the US to come home to their families. People in the Haitian adoption community have been signing petitions and calling their representatives for years about these issues. Fortunately, it sounds like the children in process have been granted emergency visas so they can come home to their already waiting families and, finally, there is an awareness about Haiti's orphan problem. How I wish this could have happened apart from tragedy.

I've gotten a lot of e-mails asking how to start the process of adopting from Haiti (and I've heard that many other adoptive families have, as well). I'm so happy people are considering adoption but, again, heartbroken that it took a tragedy to open people's eyes to the need. I really don't know what will become of Haitian adoptions and when/how they will resume. The newly orphaned children certainly won't be adoptable for a very long time without documentation of abandonment, relinquishment or parent's death certificates, which is as it should be; placement with their own family members is always preferred to adoption. It seems like many of the government buildings were destroyed, so that definitely complicates things, even for waiting children. When some sort of stability returns, I would hope that the ridiculous laws would be amended, allowing a broader scope of people to adopt. Right now (because of UNICEF) the parameters are narrow and restrictive. We'll just continue to pray and advocate for orphans.

Please continue to give and pray!! Chances for Children still needs supplies. World Vision and Compassion are also some wonderful organizations that were already working diligently in Haiti - you can give a one time gift or a long term sponsorship of a child. Heartline is another wonderful ministry and you can read first-hand accounts of the reality in Haiti right now by clicking the Livesay Web Log link in the adoptive families column. And even when this tragedy is no longer receiving 24 hour coverage, please remember that Haiti is still the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere and that there are 143 million orphans worldwide.

In the Midst of Such Sorrow...

We experienced a bit of joy yesterday as we officially domesticated Asa's adoption. This basically means that, even though he was already legally our son, we now have US records of his adoption and he'll receive (what amounts to) a Florida birth certificate. He was such a good boy and loves the big bear given to him by the judge.


I know lots of my blog friends have adopted (or are in the process of adopting) from other orphanages. I pray that your organizations receive the help they need and that, somehow, adoptions are expedited to get the children out of such a dangerous situation. Word from Asa's creche is not good. The children are uninjured (praise the LORD) but the building did sustain some damage and they are running critically low on supplies and food. A large container with six months worth of food was stuck in customs before the earthquake and has now, most likely, been looted. For anyone who happens to read this and is not affiliated with another organization, Chances for Children is definitely in need of funds and any donation you can make is greatly appreciated. There is a button to donate right on their website and you can even decide how your contribution will be utilized. Thank you so much! Please continue to pray without ceasing!